


I support our troops is not a political opinion

by Sarah1281



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, Politics, they are definitely not friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He and Hamilton are definitely not friends. The fact he's not even surprised Hamilton broke into his house to yell at him about his lack of political opinions might confuse the issue but they're not. And no, he doesn't need any advice on how to run his campaign. But if Hamilton actually does vote for Jefferson then there will be words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I support our troops is not a political opinion

The thing was, they weren’t even friends. They didn’t even spend all that much time together, they just kept being thrown into each other’s lives by some sort of fate or something. Not that anyone even mentioned Hamilton to him without alluding to them being much closer than they really were. 

Coming home one day and finding Hamilton sitting on his sofa and typing furiously in front of C-Span might confuse the issue. 

“Hamilton.” 

Hamilton jumped. “Aaron Burr, sir.” 

Burr rolled his eyes. He had no idea why Hamilton still did that. His name rhyming really wasn’t that funny, no matter what Hamilton and his friends thought when they were drunk. 

“Why are you in my house?” Burr asked. His wife must still be out or she’d have warned him. His daughter was never home this early. 

Hamilton turned the television off and set his laptop down before turning to him with a very serious look on his face. “Burr, we need to talk about your campaign.” 

Burr just groaned and headed to the kitchen. 

Hamilton got up and followed him. “Don’t groan at me! This is serious.” 

“Of course it’s serious,” Burr agreed. He took out a bottle of wine. “No one gets their party’s nomination as a lark. Are you having any?” 

“I will, thanks,” Hamilton said. When he was handed his glass, he took a sip and said, “Watching this presidential race is causing me physical pain.” 

“You might want to get that checked out, then,” Burr told him, leaning against his counter. “Sounds somatic.” 

“Burr,” Hamilton said reprovingly. 

“I know it can’t be easy, watching me run for president when we all know you’ve always wanted the job,” Burr said, feeling a little sympathetic despite himself. It was never easy starting ahead of Hamilton and watching the man shoot past him, either. “And I know it can’t be easy watching Jefferson run because, well, Jefferson. But it’s really not anyone’s fault you weren’t born in this country.” 

Hamilton tensed. “That’s really not…that has nothing to do with…I know that!” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Although, really, I’ve been here for thirty years,” Hamilton burst out because when could he ever help himself? “My wife’s a member of the DAR. My son called me the other day to complain that the grocery store didn’t have any Halloween Oreos even though they had twenty other kinds, including the Christmas Oreos, then he went to the Starbucks afterwards and they had run out of apple juice so they couldn’t get his apple spice whatever. If that wasn’t the encapsulation of first world problems then I don’t know what is. I made it. I’m here.” 

“No one’s denying that.” 

“So what if I was born somewhere else? And then spent the first nineteen years of my life there? I’m a citizen. I’d like to see some Congressmen I know pass that exam! Why should a little technicality like that prevent me from being president? I mean, I’m not saying I’d win-”

“You wouldn’t,” Burr interrupted. “You’re obnoxious and disliked.”

Hamilton gaped at him. “You would dare…in my own house…”

“It’s my house.”

“Compare me to John Adams? I thought you were my friend.” 

Where had he gotten that idea? Burr wasn’t sure. He didn’t correct him. 

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” he said dryly. 

Hamilton still looked a little suspicious. “Maybe Phillip can be president.” 

Burr thought about bringing up that unfortunate bar brawl but thought better of it. Theodosia would make a far better president than Phillip, though. 

“And anyway, the point is that I should at least get to run.” 

“Take it up with Congress,” Burr advised. “Or the Supreme Court.” 

“Oh, I am,” Hamilton answered him. “But they’re being very intransigent. They were all born here so they’re acting like it’s some sign of merit or something. ‘OH, we wouldn’t want someone not from here to be in charge.’ Ha! As if anyone fresh off the boat could get elected! And if they keep the citizen requirement they’d need to be here for years before they could run. No, this whole thing just stinks of xenophobia. Racism, too, as I doubt they’re worried about some posh British guy running.” 

“I really don’t see what this has to do with my campaign,” Burr said. “Even if I do agree that that’s not fair. Do you want me to take a stance on it?” 

Hamilton snorted. “Yeah, that’ll be what you finally take a stand on.” 

Burr downed the rest of his glass and poured himself another. “God, not this again.” 

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you force me to vote for Jefferson then I’m never going to forgive you.”

“That makes us even. If you vote for Jefferson, I’m never forgiving you.” 

Hamilton nodded as though they’d just agreed on something profound. “So let’s not do that then.” 

“I, uh, can’t really control who you vote for,” Burr pointed out. “I couldn’t force you to vote for anyone.”

“I think that really depends on how you look at it,” Hamilton argued. 

“Sure. And if we look at it from a point of view that is in line with reality, I can’t force you to vote for anyone and just tell me what you’re getting at.” 

“I agree with Jefferson on literally nothing.”

“I know this,” Burr said. 

“Even the things you’d think we’d agreed on, like the so-called war on drugs, he still finds a way to be wrong. I’m not sure I even want to live in this country if Jefferson is the president.” 

“Then don’t vote for him,” Burr said. “If you really can’t stand to vote for the guy whose home you’re invading and whose wine you’re drinking, just don’t vote.” 

Burr had never seen Hamilton look more scandalized. “Not…not vote? They’d like that, wouldn’t they? People died to give me the right to vote, Burr. I can’t refuse that gift.” 

“Then vote for a third party candidate.” 

“I don’t believe in symbolic gestures like that. I won’t throw away my vote.” 

“Then you would never vote for anyone but the winning candidate,” Burr said. “Which you always rag on me for doing.” 

“I have to admit, I don’t know how you always manage to do that,” Hamilton said. “Some of those races were really close.” 

Burr knew he must look smug. “It’s a gift. Look, I’ll never know if you vote for Jefferson and no vote, not even yours, will make or break me anyway. Just don’t start going campaigning for the man.” 

The look on Hamilton’s face drew him up short. 

“Alexander-”

“Campaigning probably doesn’t accurately describe it,” Hamilton said quickly. “But you know, with everyone knowing about my thing with Jefferson, people are going to ask. And I can’t not tell them.” 

“And you can’t not write like three thousand pages about your beliefs,” Burr said grimly. “No, don’t deny it. I know you.” 

“I don’t write that much…”

Burr ignored the obvious lie. “Alight, out with it.” 

“It’s just…you don’t believe in things.” 

“I believe in plenty,” Burr said. “You know that.”

“Maybe I do,” Hamilton conceded. “But the public doesn’t. Why does it matter if I know you don’t believe there should be an official language if no one else does?” 

“Why do they need to know that?” Burr asked. “It’s not going to change no matter what I think.” 

“Well of course not if you won’t act on it!” 

“What to act on?” Burr asked. “There is no official language. I agree with this. It’s good. You can’t really think it’s reasonable for the general public to know as much about my beliefs as someone I actually know and talk to like you.” 

“All I’m saying is that you once jumped out a window to avoid an abortion question,” Hamilton said. 

Burr scowled. “That’s not exactly what happened.” 

“It’s pretty much what happened.” 

“She just kept pushing me,” Burr said. “And abortion questions are the worst. It literally does not matter. Theodosia is very unlikely to get pregnant at this point in her life and we raised Theodosia better than that.” 

“You know how confusing it is that you gave your daughter the same name as your still-living wife, right?” 

“Don’t even talk to me about that. You have children named after your father-in-law, your sister-in-law, yourself, your brother and yourself, your brother-in-law’s full name, and your wife! I’m not entirely sure who William Stephen is named after but chances are it’s some more people you know.” 

“That’s completely different.”

“Of course it is. Look, abortion isn’t likely to come up in my personal life. It’s been legal for forty years no matter what the beliefs of the president. It will stay legal unless the Supreme Court decides otherwise. Even all the new abortion crackdowns are happening at the state level. People don’t need to know.” 

“Even if I could agree you had a point about abortion, which I don’t because if something matters to you then you shouldn’t hide it, you do it with literally everything.” 

“That’s not true,” Burr said. “I support our troops.”

Hamilton made the most interesting noise of wordless frustration. “You’re running for president. You need to let people know what you stand for.” 

“Do I, though?” Burr asked rhetorically. “I know you feel I do but I’m doing great in the polls.” 

“You might have been able to get through the primaries by just not saying anything stupid or having a scandal and disagreeing with all the ‘gayness is contagious’ crap no one actually believes anymore but you know Jefferson’s noticed you don’t commit to anything. You know he’s going to bring it up.”

“Yeah, well I know his maid got fired after she got pregnant and her mom used to work for the Wayles and she and his wife are probably half-siblings,” Burr said. “I know it’s weird to pay so much each month to someone you fired and the baby’s probably his. Why aren’t you off telling Jefferson he can’t just ignore that scandal?” 

“Because, first of all, I hate Jefferson and have no intention of helping him at this date.” 

Burr raised his eyebrows. “At this date?” 

“I still have faith, right now, you’ll have a real opinion eventually,” Hamilton said. “For now. But you’re running out of time. Anyway, Jefferson is actually doing surprisingly well by just pretending he’s never heard the rumors. I know he has but you can’t prove it. You’d think people would look at it like he’s not even bothering to deny it but instead they see it as him not dignifying such ridiculous rumors with a response.”

“So why harp on me?” Burr demanded. 

“Well the half-sister thing isn’t really his fault,” Hamilton said. “The pregnancy and the bribe or whatever is but his personal life isn’t as important as his personal beliefs.” 

“Even if you’re pretty much the only one who thinks that.” 

“Those are well-documented,” Hamilton continued. “Stupid but well-documented.” 

“People know far more about my beliefs than you give me credit for, Alexander.” 

Hamilton snorted. “ ‘I support our troops’ isn’t a belief; it’s a buzzword.” 

“I support education. Children are our future.” 

“That’s still not a belief.” 

“I want to reduce crime, particularly violent crime. We have too many shootings,” Burr said. 

“Are you even kidding me?” 

“I don’t want to raise taxes.”

“You are causing me physical pain,” Hamilton complained. “Again.”

“I am a patriot and I am proud of my history.”

“Lafayette was right. You are literally the worst.” 

“Why does this get you so worked up?” Burr asked. “No one is as transparent as you are. You publically apologized because you considered having an affair. Don’t just tell me ‘people need to know’.” 

“But people do need to know,” Hamilton said, frustrated. “This isn’t some stupid popularity contest. This matters, Burr.” 

“I am spending far too much money for it to not matter,” Burr said. 

“People need to know what they’re voting for. You win, you’ll shape a country for four, maybe eight years. You’ll change the fate of our nation forever as what you do will impact who comes after you. If you’re beloved, maybe the next president is from the same party you think will get you elected. If you’re not, maybe your opponents will win. This can’t be decided by whether people like you better than Jefferson.” 

“People don’t have to vote for me if they are alarmed by this,” Bur reasoned. “It’s not like I can hide the fact that I don’t weigh in on the heavy stuff. And, as you brought up, Jefferson will probably go after me for it.” 

“Yet somehow it’s not being talked about,” Hamilton complained. 

“You’re not talking about it.”

“Don’t make me go there,” Hamilton said seriously. 

Burr wondered if he’d actually do it. He’d spent twenty odd years frustrated by Burr not taking a stand but he really hated Jefferson. 

“It’s not my fault if people don’t vote about things that matter. And they don’t. I could take a stand on gay rights, abortion, gun control, the death penalty, every other controversial subject and that’s what they’ll vote for. The issues that don’t matter, because they’re not going to change policy, they’re the ones that get votes.”

“You have no faith in people,” Hamilton accused. 

Burr laughed. “Neither do you! Come on, I’ve heard you complaining on many, many occasions that fearmongering ads play such a strong role in elections. Or when you defended the frankly outdated Electoral College system-"

“Another opinion! Are you feeling okay?” 

“Because the people can’t be trusted and popular vote is…well I don’t remember what you said but you had a problem with it. You didn’t think they’d choose right or something, maybe. And then you started wondering about the benefits of voting at all.” 

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “I’m not anti-voting. I just question the wisdom of having elected officials spend all their time concerned with getting reelected. They don’t vote according to their conscience but according to what they think will keep them in Washington.” 

“Since they’re elected to represent the interests of their people, is that so wrong?” 

“You’ve just finished telling me that people don’t vote for the things that matter,” Hamilton said impatiently. “Let’s not forget darling Daisy, the bane of my existence. One short ad aired only once. No YouTube or TiVo, just whoever happened to be watching it at the time. Goldwater probably wouldn’t have gotten us all blown up. Nixon didn’t and if his raging paranoia didn’t or Kennedy and his numerous foreign policy disasters then we’d be fine. But that pretty much decided the election.” 

“You can’t know that,” Burr argued. “And you’re an anti-populist snob and that is why everyone makes fun of you given your background.” 

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “People won’t forgive me for not having been born here and I have nothing to apologize for.” 

“Come on, Alexander,” Burr said. “You can’t think if I get elected I’m just going to refuse to do anything that isn’t supported by ninety percent of the population.” 

Hamilton said nothing. 

“Oh my God, you do think that,” Burr realized. 

“Why not? You’ve been senator and not accidentally had an opinion. Your sick days line up almost perfectly with controversial votes!” 

“This would be different. President is the goal.”

Hamilton gave him an unimpressed look. “Two terms is the goal. I have no doubt you’d spend the two months after the election and, if reelected, your whole second term actually acting like the president you’d be supposed to be. But if I have to watch you equivocate for your entire first term then I cannot be held accountable for my actions. I’m warning you now.”

“Duly noted.” 

“I mean, you can’t say I’m wrong.” 

“I can, actually,” Burr said, pouring himself another glass of wine. He offered the bottle to Hamilton who accepted it. “If nothing else, a do-nothing president is toxic. I can’t say I’ll court controversies but I’d do my damn job.” 

“Unlike your senator job.”

“My constituents have no complaints,” Burr said stubbornly, crossing his arms. 

“That’s fine, Burr, if things are calm. But what if the situations calls for some kind of controversial decision? The kind that could kill your approval rating and destroy your chance of being reelected.”

Why did Hamilton have to always jump to the worst case scenario?

“If a decision has to be made, I’ll make it,” Burr said finally. “I wouldn’t run for reelection if I didn’t think I could win. I’m much more like Johnson there.”

Hamilton stared at the ceiling. “At least that. But this really is the least you could do.” 

“At least that,” Burr echoed. “Look, Alexander, I’m never going to be the controversial one. Everyone lies to get elected.”

“But I just feel you’d do literally anything to get elected,” Hamilton said. “Jefferson, at least, would stop somewhere. What if you had to come out in favor of eating babies to get elected?” 

“I hardly think-”

“But just suppose!” 

“Then I guess better me than the other guy who might actually believe it,” Burr said, shrugging. 

Hamilton threw himself back in his chair in a huff. “You never change.”

“Neither do you,” Burr countered. 

“And look where it’s gotten me! I have plenty of people who hate me and I still get what I want. I still come out on top most of the time. You’d probably be better off if you did work with me when I’d asked you to.”

Burr bowed his head in acknowledgement. “But that’s what comes from being a gambler, Alexander. You’re either the luckiest man alive or one day you’ll lose big. No risk, no reward. I’m well aware of that and I knew what benefits I could be passing up on when I said no.” 

“I don’t want to vote for Jefferson,” Hamilton complained. “I don’t want to tell people to vote for Jefferson. He’s had really invasive investigations done into my finances.” 

“Then don’t.” 

“But you’re being almost offensively neutral.” 

“Let’s pretend that makes sense,” Burr said. “And you’ll never not vote. Vote for him then. I’ll never forgive you if I find out, and I will find out because you never shut up, but I’m not going to shoot you.”

“Take a stand, Burr,” Hamilton urged. He was always so dramatic. 

“We need to protect our natural resources,” Burr deadpanned. 

Hamilton downed the rest of his glass before setting it back on the counter. “I quit the world.”


End file.
